Mad Ministry

It is often difficult for someone who has never been in the Plymouth Brethren cult, to adequately understand the level of brainwashing that occurred within the walls of the ‘Assembly’.

‘Ministry’ could be broken down still further into: Ministry meetings, usually on a Tuesday evening and would deal with discipline and issues where brethren had slipped up; Readings, much like a sermon in a normal church but where any male was permitted to contribute or ask a question about a passage of scripture; Gospel preachings usually at the end of a Sunday, supposed to be about the glad tidings and how wonderful Jesus is. Below are some of the crankier transcripts or copies of meetings that often defy Christianity itself.

ABERDEEN transcript

BDH Volume 1, page 74 (Reading in Sydney, 1 February 2002) B.D.H. I’m sure what you say is right. So we don’t want to despise it, do we? See, you get persons going out from amongst us and say they’re linking on with true believers. They’ve got no link with them at all, it’s just folly. Persons going out of fellowship and despising the light of the assembly, and then trying to think they’re linking on with true believers in the world — it’s impossible. Of course there are true believers in the world. But someone that goes out of fellowship and deliberately despises the light of the assembly, they’ve cut themselves off from the truth, they can’t claim to be believers, they can’t claim to be real believers, they can’t claim to have a real link with Christianity. It’s the spirit of apostasy. R.C.W.P. Well, that’s a warning to every one of us, anyone thinking that they can do better, it’s just folly. The position we’re in has been divinely established, hasn’t it?

BDH Volume 35, page 277 (Reading in Sydney, 29 January 2005) You can only prove that you’re a Christian by abandoning the world, there’s no proof otherwise, there’s no proof at all. You can’t claim the shelter of the blood. You go out of fellowship and say you’re saved, it means absolutely nothing. Go on in lawlessness, and go out of fellowship, and say now you’re free, that’s a complete and utter despisal of the blood of Jesus. Your eternal salvation is totally in question, totally and absolutely in question, if you say that you’re going to be free by going out of fellowship. That’s rejection of the cross in its entirety. Go on, Mark. … I can’t claim the shelter of the blood if I’m going on in lawlessness, the blood is not for me, the blood is not for me. If I go on against the light, sinning against the light, going on in lawlessness, the blood is not for me.

BDH Volume 47, page 208 (Reading in Sydney, 27 January 2006) If we’re going to stay in Christianity, which for us, the saints, is the holy fellowship. For the world, there are Christians in the world, there are true Christians in the world, Christianity is the light they’ve got, we leave it to them. But for us Christianity is the fellowship. And if you leave the fellowship you don’t have Christianity. I want every young person to understand that here: you give up the fellowship, don’t think you can hold on to Christianity. You haven’t got it. Young people that give up the fellowship, and turn their back on the fellowship, and leave what they’ve been brought up in, and leave the position they’ve been set in, they can’t claim Christianity, they can’t do it.

Disclaimer: It is acknowledged that these references come from books published by Gospel and Tract depot, now continuing at Greenford, Middlesex. At the present, this publishing house only sells these books to its members, and not to the general public. However these works have been quoted here in accordance with International Copyright laws which allow works to be quoted for purposes of critique.

Here is the full transcript of the Aberdeen meeting:

Transcript of meeting at Aberdeen

Saturday 25th July 1970.

 

JT Jnr: What the ‘ell are we doing here? You so and so, what are you saying?

 

TMB: This will get us somewhere, this will get us somewhere. I don’t know where.

 

JT Jnr: George, what do you think of this here? George Brown, what do you think of this here?

 

GMS: I’m sorry I didn’t hear your question.

 

JT Jnr: I wasn’t talking to you, boob. George!

 

GWB: Yes, Mr Taylor.

 

JT Jnr: What was the answer?

 

GWB: I don’t quite know, Mr Taylor, what to make of it.

 

JT Jnr: Anybody know that. Is your wife here?

 

GWB: Yes, she is.

 

JT Jnr: And she’s mad.

 

GWB: No she isn’t Mr Taylor.

 

JT Jnr: She is so. All going to have a good time here. Oh, yes. We’re going to. . . you nut! … we’re going to have a good time here. And you, you dear, dear, dear, dear, dear boob, what do you want to say?

 

JAG: See the stars and stripes you know?

 

JT Jnr: Rubbish! What are you looking at, you boob? See that fellow there? He’s too serious.

 

JAS: I was thinking of the value of.

 

JT Jnr: You were thinking of what?

 

JAS: The value of Paul and his intelligence in the mystery (Loud laughter and stamping.)

 

JT Jnr: Now we must get on with this meeting here and the next address: Now we have Mr George Terries. The next address. You never had it so good. You big boob, you. And then the next is what? Because we’re still producing (Not clear). We had the hell of a time in our house just a few minutes ago – ‘ell of a life. That so-and-so. But it’s No.2 now. We got No. 1. That’s No. 1, that’s George Terries. Anybody know him? Anybody know George Terries? We’re going to have the ‘ell of a time here. I want to tell you my purpose that he’s a very good factory. I’m still looking for that. George is No. 1. . . No.2 is coming but it comes slow. She’s in terrific pain. You bastard! You bastard! We need a doctor here. Go to sleep Stanley, go to sleep. We have plenty of hymns, to hell with you. We’re having a very good time. You bum, you. You big bum. Scott! Bum! Scott! Bum! Scott! Bum! Scott! Bum! Scott! Bum! Now you have it. You never have it. You never had it so good. You never had it like this, you nut, you. (40 seconds pause with bursts of laughter) (Shouting). You stinking bum! You stink! Why didn’t you bring some toilet paper with you. Very fine meetings.

 

MBT: Yes, first class. (Pause 85 seconds with indistinct remarks and laughter then shouts of laughter with cheering, whistling and stamping.) What I would like to know Mr Taylor – is this to be the pattern for all meetings?

 

JT Jnr: Look at that son of a bitch there. (Pause 70 seconds culminating in laughter, stamping and whistling.) You never had it like this before. You bastard you. (Loud laughter, stamping and whistling.) David, where the hell have you been? Thank God for you. I thank God for you every time. You been stinking somewhere. What you been doing at?

 

DJD: In Hell.

 

JT Jnr: You haven’t had any privilege to do that. You feeling better? Thank God for that. You feeling better, David? Thank God for that. You feeling better, David? Thank God for that. Are you feeling better, David? Thank God for that. The whole thing, too. What about your intestines? Was that the trouble? To hell with them! ‘ell with them. You hear that George? George! You st. . . George! Did you hear? Yes. You st . . . ‘ell with the other one! ‘ell with the other one! Stay awake, you boob! What do you think, we’re going to get on with all these songs from Detroit? To hell with them, ‘ell with them, I said. ‘ell with them! You big bum you. You never had it so good. And don’t you think, don’t you think you’re going to go away with this stuff. You here. What’s your name? Son of a bitch.

 

JG: John Gaskin.

 

JT Jnr: Get up. You look like nothing. Sit down! You never had it like this before. Eric! Awake? You awake there? Well get up and perform Eric, get up. Get up Eric. Get up! Eric get up. Sit down. You never had it like this before. You stupid people here, what do you think I am? I’m a professor. Here you. I’m not finished with you yet. You nut! Get up. I’m not finished with you yet. Well I’ll tell you this. Don’t you mention any cars any more, remember? So what the hell are you? Skunk. You never had it like this before. That son of a bitch. I very careful using the word son of a bitch because I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know you have to be careful about it. Is everything alright with your bowels? You never had it so good. Stand up Mr Gardiner. I would like to introduce you to Nicodemus. And will you answer the question that I ask you Nicodemus? You couldn’t. Who are you? Who are you?

 

JAF: James Flett.

 

JT Jnr: Get to hell out of here! ‘ell, I said ‘ell out of here. You big bum there, you Bennett, what are you doing there sitting round. . . You never had it like this before. Now we have some other things before, before us. You know, what I want to bring before you. What I want to bring. There are things that I would like to bring before you. Repeat. There are certain things I’d like to bring before you. You son of a … (Pause 60 seconds with shouts of laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: You never had it so good. Will you have something to say to the church.

 

JG: I think we’ve entered in the time of the sign language.

 

JT Jnr: Repeat.

 

JG: I think we’ve entered in the time of the sign language.

 

JT Jnr: Repeat.

 

JG: I think we’ve entered in the time of the sign language.

 

JT Jnr: Repeat.

 

JG: I think we’ve entered in the time of the sign language.

 

JT Jnr: Repeat.

 

JG: Amen.

 

JT Jnr: Repeat.

 

JG: I think we’ve entered in the time of the sign language.

 

JT Jnr: You’re going to sleep. Yes you were. All right George. Upidee George. Upidee George. What are you saying for the church here?

 

AT: Who’s the big stiff now, eh? (Loud laughter and whistling.)

 

GT: I think somebody needs a good clean out.

 

AT: I’ve been today and I’ve used the paper as well.

 

GT: Can I make another observation? You stink!

 

AT: Say something original.

 

GT: I’d like to. But it depends on somebody else. (Pause 60 seconds with laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: Watch me. You do the same. (Loud laughter with whistling and stamping.) You never had it so good. And I don’t think will ever have it so good either. You big bum here, give me your hand so I can have some.

 

SMcC: Can I ask a question? Are these the signs of the Zodiac?

 

JT Jnr: Yes! (Loud laughter with whistling.) Now what was the point that was before us here? What we talking about here? What was the point we were . . . What was the point we were talking about?

 

JAG: Sid escaped from Eddie and came and told James the Hebrew.

 

JT Jnr: We’re getting on with that. We’re getting on with this truth here. And the truth is this. This is the truth. And this is the truth. That’s what it is. It’s the truth. We’re having a very fine time. And it’s the truth. Why did you sit down? I told you to stand up. Don’t you do that again. We’re going to get down to the truth here. And the truth is the truth and the truth. And don’t you sit … Don’t you sit down you st. . .

 

SH: Truth and the truth and the truth – that’s the triple crown isn’t it?

 

JT Jnr: Yes. And you, don’t you sit down.

 

SMcC. Could you initiate us into the mystery? (Loud laughter).

 

JT Jnr: You never had it like this before. You never did. (Laughter.)

 

SH: It’s like Piccadilly this. Like Piccadilly. I feel like Eros sucking plums, you know. (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr (very slurred): We’re getting on very well in the truth here. (Pause with indistinct remarks followed by loud laughter.)

 

SH: That’s Alee Terries, higher and higher yet.

 

JT Jnr: Get up you bastard. (Loud laughter.) We’ll now proceed with this meeting here which is very spiritual and the point is to get people spiritual. We have in mind to get people spiritual here. We forgot to deal with these . . . (pause).

 

SH: Spiritual line to get people to stand on their feet isn’t it? Two feet?

 

JT Jnr: You never had it like this before. (Loud laughter then 75 seconds pause then very loud laughter.) You never had it – it so good. You never had it… (Laughter.)

 

SMcC: We might translate that by saying “You never had it so good”. (Very loud laughter with whistling and clapping.)

 

JT Jnr: Now don’t do that again. You were told to stand up.

 

SH: He can’t do two things at once.

 

JT Jnr: If you have an explanation for what in the world you’re doing anybody knows no but you (sic). You have an opportunity to justify. . . (laughter.) The chapter begins this way. I repeat, the chapter begins this way . . .

 

SH: She was turned into a pillar of salt.

 

JT Jnr: The chapter begins this way. That’s how the chapter begins: “To hell with you.” El – Genesis 1. (Laughter.)

 

SMcC: I may have to be excused . . . (Loud laughter and whistling for forty seconds.)

 

JT Jnr: We’re going on with the scripture here. (Pause 45 seconds with bursts of laughter.)

 

Remark: At least we’ve got company, Sidney.

 

SH: Tweedledum and Tweedledee. (Uproar for twenty seconds.)

 

JT Jnr: Now we’re going on with the scripture here. It’s very spiritual this scripture here. We have to get some scripture in between some damned fools.

 

Question: Beg pardon?

 

JT Jnr: Do you hear that – you big bum plumber from Dusseldorf? We have to get some scriptures in between some damned fools here. (Laughter 20 seconds and then uproar, whistling, etc.)

 

Remark: A threefold cord is not easily broken. (Laughter for 30 seconds.)

 

JT Jnr: You never had it like this before. (Loud laughter continuing with stamping and renewed shouts for 60 seconds.) We’ll proceed with this meeting which is very spiritual. (Pause.) We’re proceeding with this meeting which is very spiritual. You never had it so good. (Pause.) You never had it so good.

 

Question: May we ask a question in the temple? (Laughter.) Would you tell us what that means please? (Loud laugher.) When I was a boy we had a name for that. We used to say, “Same to you with knobs on.” (Loud laughter and whistling.)

 

JT Jnr: Is there another question from the parliament? You son of a bitches.

 

Question: I wondered if No.2 was still born or what?

 

JT Jnr: Interpret? (Pause.) Interpret? (Laughter.) What’s the interpret of this thing? What is it here? What’s the question on the board?

 

Question: I was wondering if No.2 was still born. (Confusion, two people talking at once.)

 

JT Jnr: Hey, wake up there old coffin, you got two coffins on the side of your face there. Look up there, he has two coffins one on each side of his nose. You don’t that again! Now what is the question before . . . (Laughter.) What is the question before the board here? You son of a bitch what you got to say? I couldn’t prove that you’re the son of a bitch I couldn’t do that. You can’t say a son of a bitch if you don’t know. But you’re a bastard. Now what you want to say?

 

Remark: I’d rather listen to you.

 

JT Jnr: To hell with you. We want to listen to people give me a fight. That’s what I want somebody to give me a fight. You don’t want to fight me? (Pause.) The only fighter left is this skunk over here.

 

SH: You can fight and run away. “He that fights and runs away lives to fight another day.” (Laughter, cheering and clapping.)

 

JT Jnr (very slurred): You never had it like this before. You never had it like this before. Me, I’m looking around for these sons of a bitches, where are they? (Loud laughter.) You never had it like this before. Now for instance if you want to take … for instance, for instance, for instance, for instance, for instance, for instance … for instance . .. (Pause.)

 

SMcC: I’m beginning to wonder where I am.

 

JT Jnr: I wonder where the ‘ell you, are you (sic).

 

SMcC: Whether I’m down there . . .

 

JT Jnr: Down here, that’s where you are. (Laughter.) Now it’s a very fine subject this here. It’s wonderful you know, it’s really wonderful what I’m bringing before you. What I’m bringing before you is really wonderful. Wonderful. There’s one of these bastards here trying to interrupt me. What I’m bringing before you is wonderful. But these bastards they interrupt me. But you’re going to get something out of this meeting.

 

SMcC: It’s a long time coming. (Loud laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: It’s a long time in coming because of a son of a bastard like you. (Laughter. Pause, then several wolf whistles; then uproar; cheering, clapping, and loud rhythmical clapping for 90 seconds.)

 

JT Jnr: The introduction of these meetings was very spiritual you know. And we must get on … spiritual. (Laughter, 30 seconds.) You never had it so good. You son of a bitch. I wondered what that word meant you know and then I found out what it was. (Loud laughter) (slurred). We … we need a doctor here. Amen. Huh! We need a doctor here. You never had it so good George. And, George, you son of a bitches. But you can’t really say that one if you don’t know it. So I wouldn’t say it. (Laughter and pause.) You never had it like this before and I don’t think you’ll have it again. I’ll tell you a few of my friends here. A few of my friends, I’ll tell you who they are. There’s that Mr . . . I’ll tell you who my friends are … Ben Armitt, he’s my friend. I don’t know any other son of a bitch is my friend or no, I wouldn’t think he is though. I think you are you big boob over here. I think he’s my friend. Your name is Scott, yeah, you’re my friend, you discovered me, in … (Laughter.).. . you discovered me in Inverness. What you want to say, you boob, get up and say it.

 

Remark: My name is Scott (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: You never had it so good. (Pause, then uproar and whistling with loud hysterical laughter from the platform.) Well the object of these meetings as usual, is to get some people spiritual, that’s the object of these meetings. That’s the real object of these meetings, to get something spiritual into the Brethren. Now how are we going to do that with all these bastards here? I’m looking for you, you’re going to get it. But George, George, you’re going to give the next address. That may not too happy for you. You may not like that but he’s going to give the next address. And then we’re going to get the next so and so and that’s going to be the bastard sitting here. I think his name is Craig. That’s the next bastard going to speak. Goodness, if you would keep looking down there, I’d help you. (Laughter.) Now we got No. 2 man and the next man is not going to be you, you bastard you. (Laughter.) Nicodemus, son of a bitch. I don’t think there’s anything truer than that, that Nicodemus was a son of a bitch.

 

Alee Terries: He’s from the same source.

 

JT Jnr: I know my men. Why don’t you keep quiet, you bastard? (Loud laughter and then bursts of cheering, whooping and whistling 30 seconds.) Now we got two. Two selectees, we got two. And George don’t forget your production. George, don’t forget your production. George, don’t you forget your production. I think you forgot that, and you are No. 1 man. No. 2 man is this Craig here, fast asleep in every meeting. Fast asleep in … (Laughter.)

 

GT: Can I ask you who is going to clear up the mess?

 

JT Jnr: We’ll take care of that. (Pause.) You never had it… so good. Now we have No. 2 man and he’s called Craig. He’s the son of a bitch from somewhere. I must excuse myself because I don’t know whether he is a son of a bitch. I think he’s more like a bastard. Because I can’t prove my … I can’t prove some of the things I’m saying here. You can’t prove who a son of a bitch is. But you could prove who a son of a bastard is. That’s what you could prove.

 

JAG: You can’t go by the unction, you must have facts. (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: We’ll have time for you, David, I don’t think we’ll need much for you. I wondered where you were and I found out where you were and you were sick and I think I felt for you. And I think the Brethren did too, felt that you were sick and we are going to keep on doing that. You’re a sick man (next part indistinct). And you Alec, you think you did a good job didn’t you? Yes, I’m telling you this? I’m going to take a lot of your territory away from you. (Laughter.) Well we’re getting on with these meetings and we must have something spiritual here you know. There’s all the old bums going to sleep he couldn’t, you know he couldn’t do it right (indistinct) (singing, very slurred). Everybody’s doing it, doing it, doing it. . .(Laughter).

 

SMcC: You’ve given me so much today that I’m troubled with flatulence. (Laughter).

 

JT Jnr: To hell with you. (Laughter.) These distinctions are rather difficult to understand but its Hebrew. Ell with Stanley McCallum, ell with him. Ell with Craig, ell with … Jim (Pause.) Renton, he’s rentin’ everything. And you, maybe we’ll see about you. But what we want, what we want is George Terries, that’s what we want and why we want him is, his fine production. That’s why we want you George. Production. And if you don’t know it I’ll tell you this that he’s got a very fine production. You people don’t know these things but I know them.

 

JT Jnr: And then there’s that Jim Fleming. He’s got a pretty good production, but I think I made one of them mad you know, that’s what I think I did. But they all came to me with confessions so I think JF, son of a bitch, is all right. But I wouldn’t be able to call him that you know, because I don’t know, all I can call him is a bastard. Now if you people have got anything to add to this would you please say it.

 

Question: Would you give a word?

 

JT Jnr: No. I would give my word about . . . Mittwoch . . . Mitt . . . Mitt . . . Mittwoch, Mittwoch. You understand that? I’ll give my word Mittwoch.

 

Question: Would you interpret please?

 

Heinz Nitsche: It’s Wednesday. Mittwoch is Wednesday. (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: Now we’re doing all right here. Now JF, you satisfied? Your daughters are wonderful, I tell you and your wife is superlative. Oh, when she came to me I thought that was it. And you were scared. He was scared when she came to me. But she had to do it. It’s too bad you know, there’s only one job like this. All these people wanting my job, but there’s only one job. And I got Mrs JF and she came, and she was something. And she still is something. These old … you know these Georges, they don’t get a clue with . . . but we’ll get on with the operation, and it’s very fine. I tell you that GT’s production is fine. And then JF’s is fine, when I got it (Laughter.) What do you think this is? Your bed? This fellow’s sleeping on me all the time. George, you understand? George, you understand? No. Oh yes (very quietly) that GT he knows how to produce them.

 

AT: They’re all like their uncle. (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: You’re a liar! You’re a liar! (Laughter.)

 

Remark: We all agree. (Loud laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: George, we’re waiting for them. I tell you that George is something.

 

GT: The half has not been told you.

 

AT: Say something original.

 

GT: I go by scripture.

 

JT Jnr: You son of a … You devil. I’m telling you, that George is something. George, George . . . Boag. (Laughter.) You want some help? (Laughter.) I never had it so good. I really never had it so good. I can control Glasgow . . . Edinburgh . . . Preston . . . and, what the hell is the name of this place here?

 

JAG: Perth (Laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: You never had it so good. But that JF, he … I’m not too sure about him. Cause I got… her. I got her all right. So it’s not too safe for him. Where are you, where are you, where are you, you honey, where are you? Mrs JF where are you?

 

Remark: Right up the back.

 

JT Jnr: Go to hell. (Laughter.) Where is she? Where are you? (very quiet.) Oh honey, it’s too far. (Loud laughter.) We’re getting on with this meeting here and its going to be spiritual before we get through. That poor old fellow from Detroit, I know he’s pretty sick, you know. Sick. He’s Detroit sick, he’s sick as a dog. Down by the sea wall, saying, “Oh, help me O God”. Down by the sea wall. Yes, that’s something you didn’t know. Where are you Jonah? By the sea wall.

 

SMcC: What he’s crying is “Hosanna, Son of David”.

 

JT Jnr: No, no, he’s not. He’s down by the sea wall. I learned this song from one of the most priestly men I have ever heard of, and he didn’t know nothing any case. His name was Johnson, I heard from him, “Jonah? I’m sick as a dog . . . Down by the sea wall.” Jonah means … I think it means, you know, I think it means Hebrew. Here I am Jonah, shouts the captain, where art thou, Jonah? Here I am, down by the sea wall, sick as a dog. Give me a seed cake or else I die. Repeat. Captain says Where are you Jonah? Wake up Jonah. Where are you? Here I am, sick as a dog. Give I kee-cake, give I kee-cake, give I kee-cake or else I die. Repeat. Give I seed cake or else I die. Jonah means Hebrew. Jonah knows Hebrew, he says. Cast me in. You never heard such ministry as this before. Jonah says, Jonah says. Cast me in, that’s what Jonah says. Jonah was, I think between females. That’s the latest ministry and I think it’s true, same as Peter.

 

SMcC: I was just going to ask if I could be excused. (Loud laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: It’s no good, it’s too good for you to be excused. Too good. Because Jonah’s, what he had to eat was terrific. But what you got to eat is good. You stay here – don’t you go out of here.

 

SMcC: Are you prepared for the results? (Loud laughter and stamping.)

 

JT Jnr: You never expected this here. You did not.

 

R.A.C.K.: Didn’t Jonah have a 20 gallon tank?

 

JT Jnr: Where the ell are you? Who are you talking up there? That’s the coffin man, yes it is.

 

W.M.C.C.: But it wasn’t me it was him.

 

JT Jnr: Yes it was, it was you. It was you. Oke. We want Oke, that’s all we want. Oke! Fine meeting this, you never had it like this. You, I’ll get through with you – you won’t be what I’m thinking about you. Derek. We need a hoist. Who told you could sit down? We want a hoist. That’s no good. We want a hoist. We want to get up to heaven. We want to get up to heaven.

 

SH: Get them to sing, ‘Swing low sweet chariot. Swing low sweet chariot.’ Go on Derek.

 

SMcC: When can Jonah come up? Get up? In a moment I’m going to say, ‘To ‘ell with you’. (Loud laughter and stamping. Pause. Then cheering and whistling for 90 seconds.)

 

JT Jnr: You never had it so good here. Now we’ll try and get spiritual in this meeting. What chapter did we read? Any case the whole thing adds up to this, the whole thing up to this; do you have any power to attract people to Christ? Do you? That’s what it adds up to. Do you have any power to add up … Look at me. Don’t look at that boob. Where did you go?

 

SMcC: Ask no questions and you will be told no lies. It’s a very delicate matter.

 

JT Jnr: It seems very smelly around here; it seems very smelly here. Where have you been? It seems very smelly here. Did you take care of that bastard? Did you? Did you care for that son of a bitch? You can’t call him that you know really, because you don’t know. Doctor did you take care of him?

 

WT: And myself as well. (Loud laughter.)

 

JT Jnr: Now we got to get on with this meeting here.

 

SH: Every verse ends with (singing). Doing what comes naturally.

 

JT Jnr: Maybe you. Not yet, maybe. George. You ready for production? Stand up. Are you ready for production?

 

GT: Yes.

 

JT Jnr: How many are in view?

 

GT: At the last count there were three, but one’s gone.

 

JT Jnr: Who’s next to him? Who’s coming up next here? We want to have you in view. No. 3. Where’s that so and so? Where’s he? Where’s No. 3 here? Who’s No. 3 here? Where’s that son of a bitch? Surely it’s not me. Is that true? You’re a real son of a bitch. I don’t know who’s propo … I don’t know who is the third man? Who was he? Who is?

 

Several voices then replied in chorus: YOU!

 

JT Jnr: Is that true? All right we’ll proceed with this meeting. I found out that you’re a crook. Yes, I found out that he’s a crook. In between these meetings I found out that this son of a bitch is a crook. He’s the first son of a bitch I’ve met since I came to Aberdeen. Well, we’d better proceed with these meetings. We’d better proceed with these meetings. No. 1 George, you ready for production? All the stools ready George? You need stools if you’re going to produce.

 

GT: Are we permitted an anesthetic?

 

JT Jnr: Speak up.

 

GT: Are we permitted an anesthetic?

 

JT Jnr: Proceed. You proceed then. Proceed with your production.