Beware the false prophets of the Exclusive Brethren!

A couple of things dawned on me today which have not helped my outlook in the scheme of things.

Two blokes on the radio (uuurgh soap and water!) today – one a Catholic Father -the other a pastor of some new order ‘church’ in Australia. “The Halleluiah and wave your Baptist hands in the air Church” I think he said. The problem was that while the pastor was quite firm about his lot distributing tracts that tell people they are all going to hell- to fry in brimstone and lakes of fire for eternity -if they don’t go to (his) church, the Catholic bloke said “Just a cottonpickin’ minute there Pal – you have misread your bible. That’s not what the bible says at all. No-one is going to man’s vision of hell. To interpret the bible that way is stupid and grossly misleading.

Now as a Peeb kiddie – I am sure it was drummed into my tiny brain from a very young age that hell was where I was destined to go if I did not toe the line with the Brethren. As it turned out- they didn’t toe the line with me in the end and at the ripe old age of 18 -they threw me out. Up until that point in my life I had not really committed any sins that might throw into question my salvation or my grip on eternity. But my absence from the fourth row for a week or two – forever has me damned to the ‘Lake of Fire’ as they like to call it in the Exclusive Brethren Church. I was fried before I even started out in life as an adult. And before I had even committed a half decent sin.

Regardless the Peebs had my nostrils fairly flaring with the pungency of sulfur and brimstone as a kid. (If you wish to obtain a more tangible understanding on the biblical description of this – go to New Zealand – turn right at Auckland and go to Rotuarua – close your eyes and breathe deeply. Same deal apparently.  All bubbling hot nastiness. And lots of rotten egg smells.

So if our theologians can’t get this moot point right- then who the hell do we believe? And don’t you dare tell me that Darby’s version of the bible is the only version to be believed- because it isn’t. He might have been clever – but he was Irish -liked a Guinness and had help apparently. According to one source he was forever sending telegrams to the blokes in Greece who had  -in a moment of benevolence- sent him one of their bibles. A first edition they said. How do we know that they hadn’t had the odd Ouzo before they responded? Plus nobody liked a bit of a myth more than the Greeks. You get my point.

Which all leads very nicely into the real reason for this missive. Men of God. So called- Men of God. Self made Men of God. Men who calls themselves- er- Man of God.

If I might start with one, upon whom I have an informed opinion -Bruce David Hales. Furniture salesman, home taught accountant and manipulator of 40,000 odd bank accounts. Not to mention the odd injection of tax payer dollars. He honestly believes that he is THE man of God on earth. Over all others. All the others are -after all- in darkness. And no doubt heading to the hot place with me and the rest of you evil bastards.

Why? His Dad – and God told him so. Now I’m going out on a limb here – but were there any witnesses? Did anyone see a burning bush and hear a rumbling in the heavens? Was there a parting of the clouds and some muffled words overheard one afternoon in Ermington New South Wales? (Of all places- pffft!) The answer is NO! If Bruce heard it- no other living soul did. I know- I checked the radio reports and newspapers form the day and not a sausage of a mention about any such goings on. Now Bruce will tell you no doubt -that as he IS the Man of God- only HE could hear such things. I say -piffle!

For a start, in my book, to be a Man of God – you have to do the yards as they say in American houses of correction. You know- a few years of theology where you actually study religion religiously, where you look at things contextually – and where you behave like a future Man of God by helping those in your community for a few years. Maybe even do a bit of missionary work in a troubled land or teach a few thousand school children.

Take poor old Mother Theresa as a perfectly good example. The poor little love gave her whole life to helping others. She toiled tirelessly -surrounded by little brown faces dispensing food and warmth and love for three quarters of a century. Sadly- according to the Peebs – she was a woman in darkness in a Godless country – a Catholic (uuugh! soap and water) who may well be destined for the same eternity as me. In their estimation.

But this is not how it happens in the Peebs my friends. How it happens there is your dad taps you on the shoulder as his end draws nigh and says- “Psst! Bruce- You are the Man of God.” I’m for the high jump – but you are not! Soon all those lovely little envelopes will be arriving at your mail box.” “Yippee!” yelled Bruce before realising that he had better brush up on his doctrine. Which I note he is still doing. If this is not the worst case of nepotism I have ever heard of – I want to know what is.

Now I’m not going to knock Bruce for loving his dad. But his lot took away my right to love mine. They threw me out and all efforts to make contact thereafter were firmly and cruelly rejected until they weren’t there anymore. The Grim Reaper beat me to it.

Who – you ask- made this life-changing decision? A bloke in dungarees who lived a stone’s throw from the Canadian border, in a town where they roll the footpaths up at 6.30pm nightly from all accounts. Had he ever met me? Nope. Had he ever witnessed a so called sin on my part? Nope. Did he eradicate a threat or a scourge from his landscape? Nope. He just took the word of a vindictive, evil old bastard from my locality who – while admitting that I had done no wrong – and had indeed been badly hurt by the Brethren –  had not sipped from their re-offered (but now poisoned) chalice, since their act of final rejection. This alone- was sin enough to have my life thrown upside down. I wonder how many passages of scripture say anything about this.

So when deciding whose version of Christian life you should follow- might I suggest you go for one where they actually do what Christ did and forgive a bit. Might I point you in the direction of the one that opens its heart and puts an arm around your shoulder. And beware of those that make you bow before an average man who tells you he IS God and threatens you with extinction for eternity in a cauldron of rotten egg gas if you don’t obey him.

Amen.

The main thing- the single most important thing that is wrong with this so called Christian sect called the Exclusive Brethren or Plymouth Brethren or whatever they call themselves next month in an effort to disguise the flotsam in their wake – is that they don’t make sense. There is no consistency. For a place that is run on rules and ruled by rules -this is glaringly strange to those of us who have felt their sharp, unyielding retribution.

This week we read about how they now communicate with each other. Far from being left behind on the IT superhighway – they now embrace it to such as extent, that many of the people they threw out and withdrew from in the 1980’s and 90’s for having a rudimentary word processor in their business or home, would have their heads spinning with their glib IT terminologies and in-house software packages. When it comes to the Web- these people are right up there with all the latest.

Funny, I have waded through reams of ministry by the great man himself -Bruce Hales and his predecessors rabbitting on about the filth of the thing and how it should be reviled and refused at every turn. The Web he said- is a pipeline of filth. (How he knew this is anyone’s guess.) Bit like when they raided Osama Bin Laden’s hideout – apart from lots of computers all they found was piles of pornography. A fact not lost on the tabloids -who the next day printed their 4 inch banners with ‘Osama Bin Wankin.”

But Hales- never one to be defeated when it comes to driving his probes ever deeper into the businesses of his flock – has come up with the people and the technology to maximise his returns and having his followers all playing happily on the Web like seasoned professionals.

How must the families of those people he and his father threw out of fellowship feel today? How do they feel when they see the proliferation of full blown IT hardware and software almost being made mandatory in their businesses and homes and remember back when their husband was tossed out for even thinking about the benefits of a computer in their business lives? I say ‘thinking about’ – because their was one brother down south, who dreamily mentioned to his wife when they got into bed one night that a blinking computer would make the running of their office so much easier. He never actually got one – but she snitched on him and he felt the full force of the Halesian boot. Pretty sure it was Hales senior who got him. And now Bruce demands that people have ‘webinars’. Crikey I didn’t even know what a ‘webinar’ was and I’m an evil worldly opposer!

Hales ‘Webinars’ have a heirarchy of administrators and spies who monitor every word and motion. Minutes are kept meticulously and organisational charts are distributed worldwide so people can see who is in control. I daresay – if you are not part of a ‘Webinar’ you would have very little use for Bruce Hales. Hales dictates that all ‘Webinars’ must take place at 6 am -thus elevating them to the same sanctity as the supper from a timing perspective. This also means he gets a good 8 hour day out of them as well I suspect. Sect leaders are, after all, always cracking the whip.
What an appalling situation. He controls them at church. He controls them out of church. And he makes money from them at every turn.

But be you Peeb or non- Peeb- spare a thought for all those people who foresaw the value in technology long before Hales got into it. And got off on it. They were thrown out- their families destroyed, their children lost forever and in most cases – even lost their businesses. And now Hales rubs their noses in it by flogging computers and software and holding ‘webinars.’

How the hell can that be right? Does Hales owe these peoiple an apology today? I’m sure he does. And maybe a few million for lost income, gross inconvenience and greivous mental harm.
It is a wicked anomaly folks. A wicked thing. And you know how Hales will answer this unforgivable double standard? These people ‘moved ahead of the Lord”.

Well the Lord I know had nothing to do with computers. And he certainly never had a ‘Webinar’!

“Hooray for the Preston Down Trust – part of the PBCC – what a generous bunch of people!
It’s so nice to see some real genuine people out there who are willing to give to help others. The Salvation Army are a great organisation and I admire the work that they do.
Long live the PBCC and all those who do such great community works – may you all be blessed.”

Welcome to the self congratulatory world of the Exclusive Brethren. Or as anyone involved in any sort of disaster in Britain now knows them – the PBCCRRT . (They are now known as this on sight if you believe their own blog).

As in “Oh my gosh Mum! Isn’t that the PBCCRRT springing into action?! Again !!!!”

And “Ooh look Mum! Is it a plane? Is it a train??!
Nooo son – it’s the PBCCRRT again!”

Also welcome to someone called Zet. Zet is a huge supporter of all things PBCCRRT. He spends his waking hours attending PBCCRRT disaster sites and then reporting on them on their website in the glowing-est terms and using the best ‘Hooray Henry’ language. He is a genuine person. At least that’s what the Exclusive Breth…er. PBCCRRT would have you believe.

“Talk about having a splashing time! What a wonderful demonstration of the way the PBCC help out in the local community.
Your dedication, even on a public bank holiday demonstrates the true Christian spirit.
Good on you all – keep up the good work.”

So something happens in Britain – a burst water main for example. There is a page of these on the PBCC Website. No sooner have the emergency services been advised – but who turns up? The PBCCRRT of course! They are there directing traffic and sandbagging shop owners premises making the emergency services pretty well redundant.

“Our team were kept extremely busy assisting police for some time, until the burst main had been isolated and the flooding was under control. Our volunteers assisted in the road closure, arranged for the delivery of sandbags, speedily sandbagged the retail premises to successfully prevent flooding. They also assisted police with traffic control and the safe detouring of motorists along alternative routes. Nothing was too much trouble for these dedicated volunteers — one of the team even carried an old lady through the floods so she could get to church! The police were extremely grateful for their assistance, saying

“It’s not often we get to work alongside such volunteers, but I am truly grateful for all the hours you and your team spared this morning, more so as it’s Easter weekend. And also for helping me with traffic control, pacifying angry motorists, and most importantly carrying the old lady across the flood so she could go to church! Your place in Heaven has been reserved!”

Thank God! And it’s official. The PBCC are going to heaven!

“Encouragement and refreshment for our hard pressed emergency services in all weathers at all hours, given willingly – even with a smile! Thanks RRT for reminding us what christianity is all about.”

Wow that testimony for you! Not only averting floods and death by misadventure- BUT also reminding the people of Great Britain on what Christianity really is!

“WOW!! such incredible work you guys do….. to think what trauma these stranded motorists were going thru….. !!
thanks again RRT”

And then Zet is back again -our serial disaster site attendee – with his cascades of  blogging support.

“You Plymouth Brethren are amazing – just look at the pictures of those vehicles stuck – I didn’t realise how bad the weather had been!
I don’t have the slightest doubt that the drivers were very glad to see you and will never forget your kindness.
If I ever get stuck, I sincerely hope you people are around to help me.
Keep up the fantastic work.”

Amazing! Gobsmacking even! I feel so small….really….but I read on…
This from someone called ‘Happy’ – a Monika no doubt assumed AFTER coming into contact with the PBCC.

“Well Done. Even when you could be struggling over the fight against the Charity Commision you are still commited to help other people. I think this is a good attitude, very unselfish.”

Wow! Now that public sympathy for you. EVEN when they are struggling with their fight over the Charity Commission – they are still not impeded in their fight against the powers of nature on God’s people.

And where the rest of us opposers and wicked worldly people simply give our money to the Salvation Army and Red Cross and others every year – not so the PBCC. They have this huge cheque book – about three feet wide on which they write their cheques which they then stick to Masonite and take photos of before they hand it over. The banks must hate it!

However -let our friend Zet have the last word –

“Hurray for the Preston Down Trust – part of the PBCC – what a generous bunch of people!
It’s so nice to see some real genuine people out there who are willing to give to help others. The Salvation Army are a great organisation and I admire the work that they do.
Long live the PBCC and all those who do such great community works – may you all be blessed.”

Of course -what you have been reading is a bunch of lies. The PBCC -having shirked the irksome world wide web as a pipeline of filth for many years – now sees its value as a propaganda tool. So they sit there at night – presumably after they have finished their traffic directing duties and sandbag filling and snow shoveling and they then rush home and write glowing testimonials about themselves. They think the worldly people will be fooled. But their language gives them away of course and the manic zeal of people like Zet. Like a Zit- Zet only needs to be squeezed to gush platitudes.

Of course self congratulation is like self praise. It means nothing. And Britain still has no clue as to what the hell the PBCCRRT means. And no one gives a stuff about  your fight against the CC. Indeed 99.99999999% of Britain doesn’t even know what the CC is either.

But at least we know one thing. The PBCC are dishonest. And like the EB before them – they always were. Just look at their website if you don’t believe me.

A couple of strong rumours emanating from Peebland recently would indicate that things are not all rosy in the flock.

Firstly – we have a strong tip that BDH is telling the Peebs to start stripping JHS’s ministry from the shelves for landfill. Apparently his chipping away at beatifying his father’s memory and deeds has caused him to take issue with his former MOG predecessor.

After all – it was the paranoid and very vindictive Symington who booted his father out twice. And Hales today is having none of it. He reckons his old man was badly done by and the saints should hang their heads in shame for the wrong doing that was done to him. (Pity he does not feel the same urgency to put things right with all those that were treated wrongly and shabbily by the Peebs in the same era. But blood is thicker than water it seems. The rest of us didn’t affect Bruce personally – but his father’s legacy must be sanitized at all costs.)

So in an act of potential retribution – according to the tip- he is now going to erase Symington from the memories and psyche of the Peebs -in the first instance by disposing of his printed ministry. Soon – if not already -you won’t be able to mention his name in Peeb circles I expect. He has gone from MOG to a reviled and soon to be oft repeated ‘matter’.

We also heard of a story from another ex brother who basically told Hales to mind his own business when he refused to let BDH take over his business. At the time he said he couldn’t do that as he had Brethren employees who were loyal to him – and it was HIS business -so BDH threw him out for his refusal to be controlled. (And in so doing lost his wife, family and business…. but what’s new?)

Hales it seems can annex whatever he likes – including another man’s business if he feels like it.  We have heard similar stories in England so there must be some truth in it. It’s funny but his father tried to get his nose into and fingers on other people’s businesses too some years ago. So it must run in the family. A mate of mine got the arse for refusing to let John Hales look at his company’s books.

Call me spookily psychic but I reckon that if you try to put your nose too far into people’s lives – some sort of self preservation kicks in and you defend what you have. Especially if it’s a business that you have worked hard to build and maintain for some years. You are not about to hand over the books or the asset to a Hales storm trooper when they march in the door demanding the keys.
So -if true this heralds yet another corner turning in the Peebs and those of us who have already been thrown out rightly or wrongly as most of us were – can breathe a very long sigh of relief that we aren’t in there anymore.

It’s bad enough that they control every minute of just about every day, your home, your clothes, who you marry, your church attendance and even your holidays. And in many cases your business and your profit which is of course- their profit.

What a way to live! No thank you!

Note to Bruce. You cannot rewrite history. It lingers in people’s minds you see. You can do what Hitler did and burn books and demand that people see things your way – and your way only- but there is always that pesky contingent who do remember the truth.

If you really want to do some good, burn all JTJnr’s stuff as well and reverse the whole shebang back to 1958. That way you become a church again and some people will get their families and loved ones back.

If you want to rewrite history- forget about erasing your father’s mistakes in life. Just return the whole thing to the blueprint God intended. You have been banging on about the ‘testimony’ at the moment and frankly your testimony over the past decade has been deplorable. Bad language, child molestation, fortress like bunkers for churches that rub entire communities up the wrong way, dodgy schools, bad spokesmen, ridiculously nepotistic about faces, car chases, you name it – don’t exactly enhance your testimony Bruce. They show you in your true light. I can think of no other church with the possible exception of the Scientologists -your PR bedfellows – who have attracted more adverse attention.

Rewrite history by all means – but erase ALL the bad stuff – not just the bits that affected your own family. You are soooo transparent Bruce.

The Little Red Book published in the 1960’s was the infamous pocket, party-line almanac for Chinese people and was a series of quotations and directions on a huge list of subjects from Mao Tse-Tung.

The Little White Book is Bruce Hales version -and it follows the concept of Mao’s tome almost exactly. But, never one to do things by halves,  the Halesian version has overtaken its Red counterpart – both in size and content. Not only do we have to deal with personal behavioral, civic and business issues, but also matters pertaining to history. Especially history relating to John Hales. And Jim Taylor. The Aberdeen section alone is a marathon read of reversals and nose thumbing at Taylor detractors.

At something like 1000 pages it’s a big read for any Peeb. A ponderous double volume on every subject the great one one can think up.  Basically if you have a query on some element of history or Peeb rule, you simply go to your blandly named ‘BDH Index’ – and scan through the alphabetical pages of answers. Easy!

(Copyright for this voluminous publication is acknowledged to the Gospel and Bible Trust people whom I also give credit to for simply typing the thing up. Ah- the blessing of computers!)
(What a pity that some opposers found this out before they were allowed to.)

So let’s take a random subject. Anyone? Ah – ABERDEEN – yes. That perennial bugbear topic that seems to raise the ire of you opposers. Bruce has a whole section for Opposers.
“Opposers- nit picking people – repentance is denied them by God”  Worse- we are “persons that really want sympathy for their Godlessness, they know they’re wrong.”

So there you have it. And if you are thinking of writing to him please don’t use the Lord’s name. That really riles him.

But back to Aberdeen -that mother of all matters after the 1965 matter -which I am still reading up on. Here’s Bruce’s determinations on Aberdeen.

For a start you guys – you opposers are wrong. You got it wrong then and you’ve got it wrong now.

(JT Jnr) “was allowed to fall into the hands of wicked men. He wasn’t protected.”
‘they filled him up with drugs, would have murdered him’.
“He wasn’t protected; an awful position he was thrown into”
“The Lord wouldn’t allow his servant to fail’
“Intelligent stupid people, caught up in the stupidist rumour, vicious lies against our Beloved.”
“No possibility of a response in the fleshly connection;they were trying to judge JTJnr by their own stupid wickedness”
“They” (I’m presuming this is us) “just can’t get over it, stone of stumbling; it wounds our spirits, but it doesn’t alter our convictions”
“Many prominent persons exposed there; beyond redemption, crisis continued and is still on today”
“Young people don’t really need to really understand”
And as a final word- “The bigger the lie, the more they are going to believe it”

Where a naked Mrs Ker falls into this equation I’m not quite sure because Bruce says under the subject of marriage that ‘you’ve one wife, and you don’t love anybody else’s’. Fair enough.

Now I warn you in advance – don’t even start him on Apostacy. He has loads to say about apostates.

Accidents are not accidents he says. “Break a bone, ankle, leg; Lord is speaking, not at accident at all.”

And if God speaks to you big time and it results in your demise, you better hope big time that you don’t require an autopsy. Bruce does not like autopsies it seems.

“Autopsies are humiliating; pathologists would see the effect of lawlessness in the organs.” (I’m presuming here that he is talking about cirrhosis of the liver etc. )

Look folks- I’d love to read more to you but this thing is worthy of thesis status. A big read – and I -possessing only the limited brain power of an opposer – a nit picker – can only take in so much at any one time. However- other installments will be coming where we show you lot the error of your ways as you seek ‘sympathy’ for the evil that has befallen you all in this wretched place you find yourself in.

Bruce gives rules guys- not sympathy. Get with the program!

Well – Bruce’s little white book on all things Brethren is a bit of an eye-opener if I’m honest. It is full of glaring anomalies, including the admission that they made young people confess to things and then booted them out for it. He now reckons this was wrong.

At least he is honest about that – it happened in the assembly I was in where they dispensed with the best part of a generation. Some church! Some Christians! Some forgiveness. It is where they lost all credibility for me.

It wasn’t God doing anything Bruce- it was a bunch of vindictive old men bringing each other down – through their children. And it was never put right.  BDH has the happy knack of putting things onto God when it suits him or the answer for the Peebs is unpalatable or irrefutably wrong. But I’m getting morose…… the point of this missive follows:

In the spirit of sharing and discussion I throw a few more gems out for your edification. There is no subject left untouched. Even that of deportment is dealt with in detail.

Under the banner of DEPORTMENT, he seems to have a preoccupation with sideburns, long hair and white shirts. I recall being frequently taken to task over my unruly hair and sideburns which in reality was just bum fluff -but it was an issue that just wouldn’t got away. Or rather – an issue that grew back.

Back to the Famous “Index by BDH on all things Brethren”

(Yeah yeah… Copywrited by the Gospel & Bible Trust guys- and all power to them I say.)

General Deportment

“might have to make some external changes, sideburns, long hair, stupid coloured shirts.”
(See -I told you he had it in for coloured shirts! Silently thanks God that they don’t have an assembly in Hawaii.)

Hair– “If your father did your hair when four, why do you have to change your hairstyle when you are fourteen?”

(Psst Bruce. My father did my hair when I was 6. The bugger put a pudding bowl on my head and cut around the edges. Apart from the issue of it hurting like hell, I looked like a Trappist Monk! I made a pact with God that day that he would never let him near me again. I cannot emphasize the derogatory effect this had on Peeb culture for me when faced with a school full of jeering derisory schoolkids. Talk about testimony. Sheeesh!)

“Part in the hair – very critical” (For whom??)
“off your forehead- that’s good”

Hair – (women) “folly to put colour in your hair; God gives you hair and the colour.”

(Bruce – I hate to point this out but the Almighty has not been too forthcoming in the follicle department where you are concerned. Should you be worried??)
Sideburns.

‘Take an inch off, mightn’t mean much, it’s a moral advance, take sideburns up, take hair off your forehead”
“Stand right up to them” (the kids I’m presuming here) “if you don’t do it I’ll take them off!”
“Want them half an inch higher, that’s rigid.”

(Note to self – How come Darby and Stoney and Raven and the rest of them all had huge sidies?? Stoney looked like Bob Geldoff on a bad day.)

Scarves

“Will protect you from yourself; won’t go into a wrong place with one”
“Sisters going around without  scarves on, it is painful, painful, it’s painful.”
(He means it- it’s painful!)

Shirts “colour of shirt, like the idea of being low key”

(These I hasten to add are so low key that you can pick a Peeb a mile off by the white shirts.)

He then has a global review – which might have been better placed beneath a heading –
“The Universal World according to Bruce Hales.”

I offer just a few snippets.
Asia. “Good place for wicked people to go, not for Christians.”
So that’s settled then
.
Australia “slipped when JSH unavailable” (I think he means when he was made unavailable to the Brethren. Anyway – wow- I always wondered why Australia went backwards then.  I thought it was because of the lousy government. But JSH getting the boot? Who’d have thunk that?)

Queensland “thinks it’s another country; mighty hard to get them to do business – nothing before lunch”

Germany “Germans were beat, they always will be, God will see to it if there is another war with Germany, it would cease to exist”
(Sheeesh Bruce- how many times I gotta tell you – DON’T mention the war!)

Scotland “they love skirmishes, they were always coming down and demolishing part of England”

Switzerland “hides the crooks; crooked wealth in Swiss banks”
(No mention of good watches or chocolate. Pffft!)

UK monarchy “poor such and such -he married the most beautiful woman in the world and still not satisfied”
(Psst ! I think he is talking about Charles…)

USA “Einstein was helpful to the US, atomic bomb, pray they hold the initiative; it’s safe in their hands”
“If every man submits to authority, we could wipe out the deficit of USA in three months”

(….hello US Treasury? Have I got the answer for you. If every man submits to authority… no authority! A-U-T-H…ah! Forget it!)

And my biggest let down of all. When I’m dead – I not really dead because I am going to be deaded -er- again as the great Eccles would say.

Cremation “folly of persons thinking they can reduce body to ashes and escape the second death”

Yikes. ..I’m pushing my luck I can see…..